1
00:00:22,160 --> 00:00:24,500
I'm H -A -P -P -Y.

2
00:00:26,140 --> 00:00:28,880
I'm H -A -P -P -Y.

3
00:00:29,280 --> 00:00:33,160
I know I am, I'm sure I am.

4
00:00:33,620 --> 00:00:36,240
I'm H -A -P -P -Y.

5
00:00:36,500 --> 00:00:42,340
I know I am, I'm sure I am. He's H -A -P
-P -Y.

6
00:00:53,581 --> 00:00:56,799
You having trouble with a crossword?

7
00:00:56,800 --> 00:01:00,040
No, I can't say no more. I can't go on
like this.

8
00:01:00,041 --> 00:01:03,079
As long as I'm a monk. What are you
talking about?

9
00:01:03,080 --> 00:01:05,060
Well, don't you miss them, Figgy? What?

10
00:01:05,280 --> 00:01:06,330
Women.

11
00:01:06,360 --> 00:01:10,150
Don't you wake up every night thinking
about them? Every nerve screaming?

12
00:01:10,151 --> 00:01:13,339
Certainly not. I've told you to stop
reading their magazines.

13
00:01:13,340 --> 00:01:16,619
Why do you read all that stuff? What
pleasure do you get from it? Don't do it

14
00:01:16,620 --> 00:01:17,700
for pleasure, Norman.

15
00:01:17,701 --> 00:01:20,119
I do it so I don't forget what they look
like.

16
00:01:20,120 --> 00:01:22,959
This way, if I ever see one again, I'll
be able to identify it by the

17
00:01:22,960 --> 00:01:24,010
silhouette.

18
00:01:24,120 --> 00:01:26,920
Calm down, Archie. Take it easy. Make
the best of things.

19
00:01:27,120 --> 00:01:28,980
Make the best of things? What things?

20
00:01:28,981 --> 00:01:32,279
What have we got to look forward to?
Well, Coco will be along in a minute.

21
00:01:32,280 --> 00:01:34,020
Oh, yes, I was forgetting with Coco.

22
00:01:34,021 --> 00:01:36,759
That's going to be the highlight of the
evening, isn't it?

23
00:01:36,760 --> 00:01:39,839
He's hardly been brimming with incidents
up to now, has it? Not unless you count

24
00:01:39,840 --> 00:01:41,580
the time that he dropped the bedpan.

25
00:01:42,040 --> 00:01:43,090
No, let's face it.

26
00:01:43,710 --> 00:01:46,150
I've had livelier times in the public
library.

27
00:01:46,151 --> 00:01:48,889
You've been here too long. That's your
trouble. You're not supposed to have a

28
00:01:48,890 --> 00:01:52,909
lively time. You're near for rest and
recuperation, not rape and pillage. I

29
00:01:52,910 --> 00:01:53,960
don't understand.

30
00:01:54,350 --> 00:01:58,209
I dream every night that I'm surrounded
by women. Then I wake up and find you

31
00:01:58,210 --> 00:01:59,970
two. It's very frustrating.

32
00:01:59,971 --> 00:02:03,909
Of course it's frustrating, and I
sympathise. Perhaps we can get Gupta to

33
00:02:03,910 --> 00:02:06,089
to you from the Kama Sutra. He's not on
tonight.

34
00:02:06,090 --> 00:02:08,129
Well, there you are. There's something
to look forward to.

35
00:02:08,130 --> 00:02:10,168
Who's going to walk in through that
door?

36
00:02:10,169 --> 00:02:11,219
Who's it going to be?

37
00:02:11,700 --> 00:02:14,590
Probably the Incredible Hulk, or the one
with the ankles.

38
00:02:14,820 --> 00:02:18,200
Oh, what's happened to all the pretty
nurses?

39
00:02:18,201 --> 00:02:21,659
That's what I want to know. Why don't
they come in here any more? Because it's

40
00:02:21,660 --> 00:02:23,220
the vernal equinox, that's why.

41
00:02:23,221 --> 00:02:25,539
What are you talking about? Spring,
mate.

42
00:02:25,540 --> 00:02:26,680
Saps rising, isn't it?

43
00:02:26,860 --> 00:02:30,160
All nature's become aware, and so has
Matron. She's no fool.

44
00:02:30,161 --> 00:02:33,899
She's observed the bee robbing the
flower of its nectar, and she's making

45
00:02:33,900 --> 00:02:37,239
you don't try and do the same thing.
She's put them all on geriatrics.

46
00:02:37,240 --> 00:02:39,869
I'm not saying they don't have impure
thoughts in there.

47
00:02:39,870 --> 00:02:41,889
I just don't have the strength to carry
them out.

48
00:02:41,890 --> 00:02:42,970
I'm going to complain.

49
00:02:43,230 --> 00:02:44,490
It's affecting my morale.

50
00:02:44,491 --> 00:02:47,889
At least they could send someone in here
with decent legs.

51
00:02:47,890 --> 00:02:50,909
Even if they did, they wouldn't get
involved with a patient. It's a rule.

52
00:02:50,910 --> 00:02:53,080
They've got to be completely
emotionless.

53
00:02:53,110 --> 00:02:57,169
Nurse Clare isn't completely
emotionless. Who? On the surface, she

54
00:02:57,170 --> 00:03:00,780
and remote, but under that starched
white apron, she feels like a woman.

55
00:03:00,990 --> 00:03:02,310
She's not the only one.

56
00:03:03,130 --> 00:03:04,710
What have you been on about?

57
00:03:07,010 --> 00:03:08,060
Tangled web?

58
00:03:08,440 --> 00:03:09,490
By Ethel P.

59
00:03:09,640 --> 00:03:11,580
Dodds? Where'd you get this from?

60
00:03:11,581 --> 00:03:12,859
I found it in the day room.

61
00:03:12,860 --> 00:03:14,910
You don't want to take any notice of
this.

62
00:03:15,000 --> 00:03:16,240
It's pure fantasy.

63
00:03:17,160 --> 00:03:18,210
Absolute rubbish.

64
00:03:18,760 --> 00:03:19,810
Tangled web.

65
00:03:22,380 --> 00:03:23,430
What's it about?

66
00:03:25,340 --> 00:03:30,099
It's about this nurse she's become
involved with Gerald a patient He's a

67
00:03:30,100 --> 00:03:34,079
young man with beautiful hands white
teeth and the finest hair she's ever

68
00:03:34,080 --> 00:03:38,379
She's worried about him, but she tries
to hide it. She keeps going outside and

69
00:03:38,380 --> 00:03:41,319
pressing her face against the wall What
does she press her face against the wall

70
00:03:41,320 --> 00:03:45,680
for? She's fighting back the tears
because she's a nurse. She's always

71
00:03:45,720 --> 00:03:49,639
Or biting her lower lip or digging her
nails into the palms of her hands. And

72
00:03:49,640 --> 00:03:54,959
all the time, beneath that starched
apron, her heart lurches and leaps.

73
00:03:54,960 --> 00:03:57,610
and she's worried about him. I'd be
worried about her.

74
00:03:57,611 --> 00:04:00,719
Pressing her face against the wall, her
heart lurching and leaping. It's not

75
00:04:00,720 --> 00:04:02,770
normal. She sounds in a state of
collapse.

76
00:04:02,771 --> 00:04:03,999
She is.

77
00:04:04,000 --> 00:04:07,780
She's just been tossed aside by rich
playboy Brad Stevens.

78
00:04:08,570 --> 00:04:12,300
tanned, broad -shouldered and better
looking than any man deserved to be.

79
00:04:13,110 --> 00:04:17,209
He's just been admitted to casualty
after falling from his polo pony.

80
00:04:17,470 --> 00:04:22,129
But when she saw him, he wasn't the old
Brad. The clean -cut face looked warm

81
00:04:22,130 --> 00:04:24,469
and there were smudges of weariness
under the eyes.

82
00:04:24,470 --> 00:04:25,520
What does she do?

83
00:04:25,890 --> 00:04:29,630
the colour drained from her cheeks and
she had to go out for some fresh air.

84
00:04:29,631 --> 00:04:33,129
Blimey, she's off again. She's not well,
is she? She'll be pressing her face

85
00:04:33,130 --> 00:04:36,289
against the wall again in a minute. No
wonder he tossed her aside.

86
00:04:36,290 --> 00:04:37,430
She's a dead liability.

87
00:04:37,830 --> 00:04:40,060
Well, I can tell you how it's going to
finish.

88
00:04:40,480 --> 00:04:41,760
Brad Stevens will get her.

89
00:04:42,160 --> 00:04:44,660
She won't go for a young one with a
beautiful hand.

90
00:04:45,160 --> 00:04:46,260
He'll probably die.

91
00:04:47,160 --> 00:04:51,559
I'm not so sure. Young Gerald's just
told her her eyes are the exact shade of

92
00:04:51,560 --> 00:04:53,480
emeralds. That must have made her think.

93
00:04:53,860 --> 00:04:57,590
And then there's Dr. Seymour Carew. He's
been helping her pick up the pieces.

94
00:04:57,820 --> 00:04:59,680
Don't tell me she drops things as well.

95
00:05:00,200 --> 00:05:03,440
He keeps kissing the top of her head and
knocking her cap askew.

96
00:05:04,220 --> 00:05:09,159
But she can't forget Brad Stephens, his
eyes cloudy with desire, the tang of his

97
00:05:09,160 --> 00:05:11,520
aftershave and his mind -numbing kisses.

98
00:05:11,521 --> 00:05:15,399
She just has to keep reminding herself
she's a nurse and not some cheap and

99
00:05:15,400 --> 00:05:19,159
ready thing. Just listen to him. He
believes all this rubbish. He's worse

100
00:05:19,160 --> 00:05:19,759
Ethel P.

101
00:05:19,760 --> 00:05:23,019
Dodds. That's probably a pseudonym
anyway. Probably written by some bloke

102
00:05:23,020 --> 00:05:24,820
chunky sweater and carpet slippers.

103
00:05:25,280 --> 00:05:28,410
Life's not like that, Norman. You'll
soon find that out. Hello!

104
00:05:30,200 --> 00:05:31,580
You've got a nice smile.

105
00:05:31,960 --> 00:05:34,010
Would you like to help me with the
cocoa?

106
00:05:34,250 --> 00:05:35,300
Who, me?

107
00:05:36,710 --> 00:05:38,210
It's no good asking him, nurse.

108
00:05:38,211 --> 00:05:39,749
He's always dropping things.

109
00:05:39,750 --> 00:05:42,640
We've just had a very nasty incident
with a night utensil.

110
00:05:42,850 --> 00:05:46,110
You'd better let me do it. Now, you stay
right here, Mr Glover.

111
00:05:47,270 --> 00:05:48,990
Let the young ones do the work.

112
00:05:50,810 --> 00:05:52,330
You get plenty of rest.

113
00:05:53,050 --> 00:05:55,040
We'll see if we can find you a ginger
nut.

114
00:05:55,610 --> 00:05:56,770
A ginger nut?

115
00:05:57,030 --> 00:05:58,950
Or would you prefer something softer?

116
00:05:59,210 --> 00:06:01,620
No, thank you, nurse. I've still got my
own teeth.

117
00:06:01,790 --> 00:06:04,290
I don't mind going. You rest, Archie.

118
00:06:04,950 --> 00:06:06,130
What a nice smile.

119
00:06:06,430 --> 00:06:09,250
Yeah. And the finest hair you've ever
seen.

120
00:06:09,251 --> 00:06:11,409
Would you believe it? Isn't that
amazing?

121
00:06:11,410 --> 00:06:14,649
You know who that was, don't you? That
was Nurse Clare, straight from Tangled

122
00:06:14,650 --> 00:06:16,940
Web. Even looked like her. Don't be
ridiculous.

123
00:06:16,941 --> 00:06:19,509
Well, didn't you see her eyes? They were
the colour of emeralds.

124
00:06:19,510 --> 00:06:23,300
And these were sticking out on stalks,
definitely cloudy with desire. They

125
00:06:24,290 --> 00:06:26,010
Did you hear what she said to me?

126
00:06:26,630 --> 00:06:27,680
Told me to rest.

127
00:06:27,840 --> 00:06:30,020
Let the young ones do the work. My God!

128
00:06:31,080 --> 00:06:34,450
I know I'm not looking my best, but she
made me feel like a geriatric.

129
00:06:37,780 --> 00:06:38,830
Fig?

130
00:06:39,780 --> 00:06:40,830
Look at me.

131
00:06:41,520 --> 00:06:42,700
Do I look that old?

132
00:06:43,580 --> 00:06:47,539
Well, the clear -cut features may be a
little worn and there are faint smudges

133
00:06:47,540 --> 00:06:50,960
of tiredness under the eyes, but
remember playboy Brad Stevens?

134
00:06:50,961 --> 00:06:54,359
She was probably fighting back the urge
to surrender to the tang of your

135
00:06:54,360 --> 00:06:58,899
aftershave and those bittersweet kisses.
She has to remember she's a nurse and

136
00:06:58,900 --> 00:06:59,779
you're a patient.

137
00:06:59,780 --> 00:07:03,090
I wish you'd stop quoting that book.
This is real life, not fiction.

138
00:07:03,091 --> 00:07:06,899
What could she possibly see in him when
his mother told him the facts of life he

139
00:07:06,900 --> 00:07:08,740
fainted? Well, perhaps that's it.

140
00:07:09,020 --> 00:07:12,090
Perhaps she doesn't want to put
temptation in her path. I mean...

141
00:07:12,190 --> 00:07:15,310
When he goes in there, he'll actually
make the cocoa.

142
00:07:20,410 --> 00:07:22,590
Is that all right?

143
00:07:22,850 --> 00:07:24,590
Yes, that's lovely. I'll find a tray.

144
00:07:24,810 --> 00:07:28,130
I was wondering, do you think we could
do this every night?

145
00:07:28,430 --> 00:07:30,050
Oh, yes, that'd be fun.

146
00:07:30,410 --> 00:07:34,890
Yes, but it's not much fun in there.
They're not really with it. No. Well,

147
00:07:34,891 --> 00:07:35,749
they're older.

148
00:07:35,750 --> 00:07:36,910
They think I'm boring.

149
00:07:37,210 --> 00:07:38,310
You're not boring.

150
00:07:38,610 --> 00:07:40,310
I bet you're super company.

151
00:07:41,430 --> 00:07:43,420
I'm... Glad they put me on this ward.

152
00:07:43,421 --> 00:07:48,339
Beneath that starched front, she knew
she was still a woman. She admired his

153
00:07:48,340 --> 00:07:51,710
fine hair, his white teeth, and the
graceful movements of his hand.

154
00:07:51,971 --> 00:07:55,919
Are you all right, Norman? You look
pale.

155
00:07:55,920 --> 00:07:57,520
No, no, I'm all right.

156
00:07:59,780 --> 00:08:00,980
I'll get the ginger nuts.

157
00:08:09,160 --> 00:08:10,640
Younger than Prince...

158
00:08:13,100 --> 00:08:18,119
Out of the locker are you. Please, Mr.
Thorpe. I've been looking for you

159
00:08:18,120 --> 00:08:21,379
everywhere, Sally. You're trying to
avoid me. What have I done to deserve

160
00:08:21,380 --> 00:08:23,140
Will you please stop bothering me?

161
00:08:23,691 --> 00:08:25,739
Bothering you?

162
00:08:25,740 --> 00:08:28,840
I wasn't bothering you at the Christmas
party.

163
00:08:28,841 --> 00:08:31,479
Well, that was Christmas. It was
Christmas.

164
00:08:31,480 --> 00:08:35,090
Well, what do you want me to do? Get a
drink of holly and sing a few carols?

165
00:08:35,440 --> 00:08:37,240
Or let me back holiday, too.

166
00:08:38,320 --> 00:08:40,060
Best to arrange something for Whit.

167
00:08:40,570 --> 00:08:43,350
Yes, Mr Thorpe, don't be bitter. Bitter?

168
00:08:43,590 --> 00:08:44,890
Of course I'm bitter.

169
00:08:45,730 --> 00:08:49,290
I may be a surgeon, but I'm also a man.
I have feelings.

170
00:08:49,650 --> 00:08:52,170
I can't just switch them on and off like
that.

171
00:08:53,590 --> 00:08:56,360
Excuse me, Mr Thorpe, I was looking for
the ginger nuts.

172
00:09:02,990 --> 00:09:07,129
You mean he tried to kiss her? Yes, but
she wouldn't let him. Of course she

173
00:09:07,130 --> 00:09:10,470
wouldn't. She's not the sort of girl for
a cheap and tawdry affair.

174
00:09:10,471 --> 00:09:14,489
He might knock her at the skew, but not
her heart. Besides, she was probably

175
00:09:14,490 --> 00:09:17,369
thinking of young Gerald, the patient
with the beautiful hands.

176
00:09:17,370 --> 00:09:18,569
What do you think, Archie?

177
00:09:18,570 --> 00:09:19,620
Old?

178
00:09:20,990 --> 00:09:22,040
I'm not old.

179
00:09:23,330 --> 00:09:24,380
Mature, yes.

180
00:09:25,170 --> 00:09:27,830
Like a vintage wine that needs to be
savoured.

181
00:09:28,310 --> 00:09:31,630
Not a bottle of pop, all full of wind
and water.

182
00:09:32,380 --> 00:09:33,640
What's he talking about?

183
00:09:34,080 --> 00:09:35,130
Who says I'm old?

184
00:09:36,120 --> 00:09:39,759
All right, then. Let's see who can do
the most press -ups. Come on. I don't

185
00:09:39,760 --> 00:09:43,219
to do any press -ups. All right, then.
Hand wrestling. Come on, hand wrestling.

186
00:09:43,220 --> 00:09:46,259
I don't want to do any hand wrestling.
No, because you know that you'd lose.

187
00:09:46,260 --> 00:09:49,519
what's the matter with me? I'll tell you
what's the matter. You're both buzzing

188
00:09:49,520 --> 00:09:52,879
round there like moths round a flame,
and Archie's got his wings singed a bit,

189
00:09:52,880 --> 00:09:57,599
that's all. To think that she could have
had me in some of the clumsy fumblings

190
00:09:57,600 --> 00:09:58,650
of a callow youth.

191
00:09:58,651 --> 00:10:00,529
If you want to watch it, Norman, I know
that.

192
00:10:00,530 --> 00:10:02,289
He's going to have one of his attacks
tonight.

193
00:10:02,290 --> 00:10:05,369
He's going to have to call a nurse to
his bedside, but not before he's

194
00:10:05,370 --> 00:10:09,220
himself in aftershave and changed into
his silk pyjamas. Am I right, Archie?

195
00:10:10,370 --> 00:10:13,510
You are going to be privileged to watch
an expert at work.

196
00:10:14,050 --> 00:10:17,510
See and be amazed, cocoa maker.

197
00:10:18,670 --> 00:10:20,250
You'd better leave her alone.

198
00:10:20,251 --> 00:10:23,649
What are you going to do about it? For
God's sake, calm down, both of you.

199
00:10:23,650 --> 00:10:27,229
you see it's the tangled web all over
again? This ward's become a seething

200
00:10:27,230 --> 00:10:28,280
cauldron of emotion.

201
00:10:28,610 --> 00:10:31,200
Emotion? You two don't know the meaning
of the word.

202
00:10:37,110 --> 00:10:38,160
Hello,

203
00:10:40,930 --> 00:10:41,980
Sally.

204
00:10:42,450 --> 00:10:43,590
Everything all right?

205
00:10:43,730 --> 00:10:44,780
Yes, thank you, Ram.

206
00:10:47,340 --> 00:10:48,960
Come and see if you've settled in.

207
00:10:49,300 --> 00:10:50,380
You've settled in.

208
00:10:53,760 --> 00:10:55,200
I'm glad you've settled in.

209
00:10:55,560 --> 00:10:56,940
Yes, yes, I've settled in.

210
00:10:57,960 --> 00:10:59,140
Yes, good, good.

211
00:11:02,560 --> 00:11:05,680
It's strange when you think everyone is
asleep but you and me.

212
00:11:06,300 --> 00:11:08,800
Two people alone in a sleeping universe.

213
00:11:09,360 --> 00:11:11,360
That's very poetical, Ram.

214
00:11:11,680 --> 00:11:14,260
I am Indian. We are very poetical
people.

215
00:11:17,450 --> 00:11:18,500
Anything else, Ram?

216
00:11:20,130 --> 00:11:21,990
Yes. A word of warning.

217
00:11:22,230 --> 00:11:24,280
The men in there can be very
troublesome.

218
00:11:24,610 --> 00:11:25,660
What do you mean?

219
00:11:25,810 --> 00:11:28,160
I would not trust them with my own
grandmother.

220
00:11:28,410 --> 00:11:30,030
Especially that patient Glover.

221
00:11:30,230 --> 00:11:31,970
Gives all the nurses the hot glance.

222
00:11:33,961 --> 00:11:35,849
Don't worry.

223
00:11:35,850 --> 00:11:36,990
I can look after myself.

224
00:11:38,010 --> 00:11:40,450
Do not give that yet. Let me do that.

225
00:11:41,030 --> 00:11:42,080
Leave this to me.

226
00:11:43,310 --> 00:11:44,790
Your servant at all times.

227
00:12:00,880 --> 00:12:01,930
Kiss me, darling.

228
00:12:03,420 --> 00:12:05,540
Keep him away from me!

229
00:12:07,140 --> 00:12:08,980
You have been here too long, Archie.

230
00:12:09,340 --> 00:12:11,200
You've forgotten what they look like.

231
00:12:14,160 --> 00:12:16,640
I know I am, I'm sure I am.

232
00:12:17,540 --> 00:12:19,160
I'm H -A -P -P -Y.

233
00:12:22,720 --> 00:12:29,200
I know I am, I'm sure I am. H -A -P -P
-Y.

234
00:12:37,130 --> 00:12:38,930
I see you've got to the difficult bit.

235
00:12:39,550 --> 00:12:41,010
Get up with the damn thing.

236
00:12:41,011 --> 00:12:43,889
They're not like you, Norman, all
impatience and language.

237
00:12:43,890 --> 00:12:46,349
Don't tell me basket weaving's losing
its magic.

238
00:12:46,350 --> 00:12:49,689
You know what's the matter. It's Bally.
I can never get a moment alone with her.

239
00:12:49,690 --> 00:12:51,929
I'm not surprised. It's just like
Tangled Web.

240
00:12:51,930 --> 00:12:54,969
There's you fluttering your beautiful
hands, Thorpe knocking her out to skew,

241
00:12:54,970 --> 00:12:59,669
Glover pursuing her with panthery
strides. Every time you turn round, the

242
00:12:59,670 --> 00:13:02,509
colour's draining from somebody's lips
or they're digging their nails into

243
00:13:02,510 --> 00:13:04,870
palms. I never thought it would be like
this.

244
00:13:04,871 --> 00:13:08,239
I wondered why Ethel P. Dodds was always
going on about heart lurching and

245
00:13:08,240 --> 00:13:11,730
leaping and smudges of weariness. Last
time I felt like this, I had flu.

246
00:13:11,760 --> 00:13:14,530
Word. It's a kind of sickness in a way,
isn't it? What is?

247
00:13:14,920 --> 00:13:15,970
Love.

248
00:13:17,220 --> 00:13:18,270
You're in love, mate.

249
00:13:18,271 --> 00:13:20,039
Am I?

250
00:13:20,040 --> 00:13:21,079
Oh, yes.

251
00:13:21,080 --> 00:13:22,099
How do you know?

252
00:13:22,100 --> 00:13:23,840
Oh, I've been there. I know the signs.

253
00:13:24,040 --> 00:13:26,080
Oh, I wish I did. I wish I could be
sure.

254
00:13:26,600 --> 00:13:27,650
You'll know.

255
00:13:27,660 --> 00:13:28,710
You'll change.

256
00:13:28,711 --> 00:13:32,679
You'll feel the sudden impulse to pat
small boys on the head and give them

257
00:13:32,680 --> 00:13:36,329
things. You find yourself weakening the
pictures for no apparent reason.

258
00:13:36,330 --> 00:13:39,160
You spend hours looking at yourself in
your underpants.

259
00:13:39,161 --> 00:13:43,249
Now you mention it, I've just spent ages
in the bathroom trying to see my

260
00:13:43,250 --> 00:13:44,289
shoulder blades.

261
00:13:44,290 --> 00:13:47,709
There you are, you see? You're in love.
It's a sure sign when you become

262
00:13:47,710 --> 00:13:49,349
preoccupied with your appearance.

263
00:13:49,350 --> 00:13:50,869
You know what Glover's doing now?

264
00:13:50,870 --> 00:13:51,920
Having a mud pack.

265
00:13:52,850 --> 00:13:55,470
Well, I must say, he's been acting a bit
strange.

266
00:13:55,471 --> 00:13:58,669
Well, of course he is. He's not getting
anywhere, is he?

267
00:13:58,670 --> 00:14:02,089
He keeps asking, mirror, mirror, on the
wall, who is the fairest of us all? And

268
00:14:02,090 --> 00:14:04,560
the answer's always the same. Not you,
me old cock.

269
00:14:13,170 --> 00:14:17,590
What have you got there? Wouldn't you
like to know? Let me see. No. What is

270
00:14:17,670 --> 00:14:19,290
Only a picture of her.

271
00:14:19,900 --> 00:14:20,950
How did you get that?

272
00:14:20,951 --> 00:14:23,919
Supposing I said that she gave it to me.
She didn't give it to you. You took it.

273
00:14:23,920 --> 00:14:26,859
Never mind how I got it. It's mine. And
what's more, I'm going to keep it by the

274
00:14:26,860 --> 00:14:28,730
side of my bed. No, you're not. Yes, I
am.

275
00:14:29,140 --> 00:14:33,239
Every night before I go to sleep, I'm
going to give her a great big kiss like

276
00:14:33,240 --> 00:14:35,660
this. No, you won't give it to me. Give
it to me.

277
00:14:35,661 --> 00:14:38,879
I've got a piece. I've got a piece. What
have you got? I've got her ear.

278
00:14:38,880 --> 00:14:39,539
Well, give it back.

279
00:14:39,540 --> 00:14:42,940
I won't look big about her ear. A sweet,
adorable little ear.

280
00:14:45,460 --> 00:14:51,469
Oh, he's spoilt it, the little
pipsqueak. Oh, for God's sake, Archie,

281
00:14:51,470 --> 00:14:52,520
her ear hole.

282
00:14:53,910 --> 00:14:55,590
Only her ear hole?

283
00:14:56,810 --> 00:15:01,329
That's the ear hole of the most
beautiful girl who ever breathed. You

284
00:15:01,330 --> 00:15:04,269
really believe that, Archie. It's
because she's more interested in Norman.

285
00:15:04,270 --> 00:15:05,149
You're jealous.

286
00:15:05,150 --> 00:15:08,549
Jealous? I haven't got a jealous bone in
my body. Why should I be jealous of

287
00:15:08,550 --> 00:15:12,150
that little creep? Can't you see,
Archie? They're drawn to each other.

288
00:15:12,151 --> 00:15:16,559
I know who you are. I've been wondering
for some time. You're not a lorry driver

289
00:15:16,560 --> 00:15:17,660
at all. You're Ethel P.

290
00:15:17,880 --> 00:15:19,340
Dodds. Can't you see?

291
00:15:19,900 --> 00:15:21,520
It's youth calling to youth.

292
00:15:22,360 --> 00:15:27,159
I knew you'd bring my age into it. You
know, it must be a constant surprise to

293
00:15:27,160 --> 00:15:30,759
you that I can walk without the aid of a
stick. Well, I don't care what you say.

294
00:15:30,760 --> 00:15:33,380
I'm going to stick this on the end of my
bed.

295
00:15:34,120 --> 00:15:36,230
And if he comes near it, I'll throttle
him.

296
00:15:38,380 --> 00:15:42,499
Ah. Now, now, how are you feeling? I
understand you're having some restless

297
00:15:42,500 --> 00:15:44,850
night. Do you want to give a point of me
to sleep?

298
00:15:46,360 --> 00:15:47,410
No, thank you.

299
00:15:47,840 --> 00:15:50,250
I don't want my senses dulled, if you
don't mind.

300
00:15:50,620 --> 00:15:53,020
I want to feel everything.

301
00:15:53,021 --> 00:15:55,959
Yes, but I don't want nurse to be in her
feet all night.

302
00:15:55,960 --> 00:15:57,010
Neither do I, Doctor.

303
00:15:57,960 --> 00:15:59,520
Well, that's where you'll feel.

304
00:16:01,260 --> 00:16:02,310
What's this?

305
00:16:02,311 --> 00:16:03,799
Only a picture.

306
00:16:03,800 --> 00:16:04,880
What's it doing here?

307
00:16:05,040 --> 00:16:06,140
We can't have this.

308
00:16:07,240 --> 00:16:08,560
They'll have to be removed.

309
00:16:08,660 --> 00:16:12,699
Seymour Carew took the picture in his
strong square fingers and slipped it

310
00:16:12,700 --> 00:16:13,750
his top pocket.

311
00:16:13,800 --> 00:16:15,520
Now she was close to his heart.

312
00:16:15,820 --> 00:16:19,859
He could hardly wait to get back to his
room so that he could devour her fresh

313
00:16:19,860 --> 00:16:22,919
beauty. What's this figure? We're just
reading aloud, Doctor.

314
00:16:22,920 --> 00:16:23,970
Let me see.

315
00:16:25,640 --> 00:16:27,520
Really, this is rubbish figures.

316
00:16:29,440 --> 00:16:33,290
Aren't you the one to devour her fresh
beauty? Perhaps the canteen's closed.

317
00:16:33,291 --> 00:16:39,429
You shouldn't read stuff like this
because it bears no resemblance to real

318
00:16:39,430 --> 00:16:40,369
I'm not so sure.

319
00:16:40,370 --> 00:16:43,680
It's amazing how life tends to imitate
cheap literature, Doctor.

320
00:16:43,970 --> 00:16:45,020
Rubbish.

321
00:16:50,390 --> 00:16:53,160
If you're looking for our left ear, old
Norman's got it.

322
00:17:03,130 --> 00:17:04,290
Hey, where's Archie?

323
00:17:04,700 --> 00:17:05,840
Taking his curlers out.

324
00:17:06,359 --> 00:17:08,520
I wish you'd stop chasing after her.

325
00:17:08,521 --> 00:17:10,779
I wish you'd stop staring at her ear
hole.

326
00:17:10,780 --> 00:17:12,280
I can't help it, Steve.

327
00:17:13,099 --> 00:17:14,740
What am I going to do?

328
00:17:14,741 --> 00:17:17,078
I'll tell you what happens in Tangled
Web.

329
00:17:17,079 --> 00:17:20,420
Late at night, see, Gerald rings the
bell and in comes Nurse Clare.

330
00:17:20,640 --> 00:17:24,679
He asks her to straighten his pillows
and she leans over and he whispers

331
00:17:24,680 --> 00:17:25,880
something in a low voice.

332
00:17:26,040 --> 00:17:29,899
She puts her ear hole next to his mouth
and before she knows where she is, he's

333
00:17:29,900 --> 00:17:30,950
given her a belter.

334
00:17:31,780 --> 00:17:33,460
He doesn't have much of a charm.

335
00:17:33,461 --> 00:17:35,099
That's what Gerald thought.

336
00:17:35,100 --> 00:17:40,499
But he had this friend, genial Jim
Merriweather, an older man, kindly and

337
00:17:40,500 --> 00:17:44,220
thoughtful, who was suffering intense
pain without a word of complaint.

338
00:17:44,740 --> 00:17:48,230
You know, it's amazing how the
characters in this book resemble real

339
00:17:48,960 --> 00:17:50,680
What did Jim Merriweather do?

340
00:17:50,940 --> 00:17:54,900
He put in a good word for him, didn't
he? Now, off you go and leave this to

341
00:17:54,901 --> 00:17:55,839
Go where?

342
00:17:55,840 --> 00:17:58,979
Well, get that beard down to the
epidermis. You could play havoc with a

343
00:17:58,980 --> 00:18:00,520
skin. Go on, off you go.

344
00:18:01,811 --> 00:18:06,939
Oh, nurse, I wonder if you'd just check
my dressing.

345
00:18:06,940 --> 00:18:08,080
Certainly, Mr. Piggins.

346
00:18:08,120 --> 00:18:09,170
Nice lad, isn't he?

347
00:18:09,300 --> 00:18:10,440
Who? Norman.

348
00:18:11,040 --> 00:18:12,980
Nice hands, lovely white teeth.

349
00:18:13,840 --> 00:18:15,280
Finest hair you've ever seen.

350
00:18:15,560 --> 00:18:17,780
Hey, stop it, nurse, you're tickling me.

351
00:18:18,300 --> 00:18:21,320
Stop it. I'll have you know I'm a
married man.

352
00:18:21,660 --> 00:18:23,160
I'll take a look at that, nurse.

353
00:18:24,100 --> 00:18:26,640
About the most popular infection, I
believe.

354
00:18:29,580 --> 00:18:31,240
What is that you deserve, nurse?

355
00:18:31,241 --> 00:18:32,629
Don't smile.

356
00:18:32,630 --> 00:18:34,070
You're leaning on it, Doctor.

357
00:18:34,490 --> 00:18:36,710
Too much to ask? Just one smile?

358
00:18:37,310 --> 00:18:38,830
Smile, for God's sake.

359
00:18:39,210 --> 00:18:41,510
You have nothing to say.

360
00:18:41,710 --> 00:18:42,950
I'm the master.

361
00:18:43,330 --> 00:18:44,710
Well, that's all, Mr. George.

362
00:18:45,170 --> 00:18:47,400
Yes, thank you, nurse. Oh, thank God for
that.

363
00:18:47,830 --> 00:18:54,430
Yes. That's really just rubbish, are
you? This isn't rubbish, Doctor. Ethel

364
00:18:54,590 --> 00:18:56,590
Dodds is a shrewd judge of human nature.

365
00:18:56,810 --> 00:18:59,880
What she's described here is your
classic eternal triangle.

366
00:19:00,500 --> 00:19:04,639
Seymour Carew, gentleman surgeon and man
about town, is in love with this

367
00:19:04,640 --> 00:19:09,219
beautiful young nurse. But he had a
rival, this wily oriental straight from

368
00:19:09,220 --> 00:19:10,270
Kama Sutra.

369
00:19:11,220 --> 00:19:14,600
Why the oriental? He'll stop at nothing.
He'll go to any lengths.

370
00:19:14,601 --> 00:19:15,779
What sort of lengths?

371
00:19:15,780 --> 00:19:16,860
Like telling his wife.

372
00:19:16,980 --> 00:19:20,919
His wife? But she won't believe it.
Until she comes to the hospital and

373
00:19:20,920 --> 00:19:24,619
him together. Even then, she behaves
with simple dignity. She makes one last

374
00:19:24,620 --> 00:19:26,080
gesture to save her marriage.

375
00:19:26,081 --> 00:19:27,248
What's that?

376
00:19:27,249 --> 00:19:29,659
She transfixes him with one of his own
scalpels.

377
00:19:32,430 --> 00:19:34,750
It's all in the book, Doctor.

378
00:19:36,510 --> 00:19:37,790
While you're in, Doctor.

379
00:19:39,350 --> 00:19:41,460
Thank you, figures. I'll bear that in
mind.

380
00:19:49,390 --> 00:19:55,690
What do you think you're doing, Gupta?

381
00:19:57,679 --> 00:19:58,729
She's not over here.

382
00:19:58,730 --> 00:20:01,039
So you thought you drew some flower
arranging?

383
00:20:01,040 --> 00:20:02,259
What about your patience?

384
00:20:02,260 --> 00:20:04,879
You're supposed to be in duty, not
sniffing flowers.

385
00:20:04,880 --> 00:20:08,240
You've certainly changed since that girl
came in the war, Gupta.

386
00:20:09,020 --> 00:20:10,140
And what about you?

387
00:20:10,460 --> 00:20:12,140
All this younger than springtime.

388
00:20:12,141 --> 00:20:13,759
Don't think I haven't noticed.

389
00:20:13,760 --> 00:20:14,810
You look ridiculous.

390
00:20:15,700 --> 00:20:17,040
What would your wife say?

391
00:20:17,041 --> 00:20:20,619
Ah, I wondered when you were going to
get to that. So that's your game, is it?

392
00:20:20,620 --> 00:20:24,319
Well, let me warn you, we have ways with
blackmailers in this country, Gupta.

393
00:20:24,320 --> 00:20:25,400
I'll deny everything.

394
00:20:25,540 --> 00:20:26,920
There's nothing in writing.

395
00:20:26,940 --> 00:20:29,860
I wouldn't say I wasn't tempted, but I
resisted Gupta.

396
00:20:30,600 --> 00:20:34,619
After all, I'm a married man, a member
of the choral society, treasurer of the

397
00:20:34,620 --> 00:20:38,800
badminton club. Do you think I'd hazard
all that in some wild fling? No.

398
00:20:40,540 --> 00:20:41,590
You don't?

399
00:20:42,520 --> 00:20:43,570
Yes.

400
00:20:43,820 --> 00:20:44,870
Good.

401
00:20:45,680 --> 00:20:49,560
You know, you should take up badminton,
Gupta. Good for you.

402
00:20:49,940 --> 00:20:52,240
Vigorating exercise, cold showers.

403
00:20:53,550 --> 00:20:56,140
It would soon drive away all those
impure thoughts.

404
00:20:56,930 --> 00:20:59,940
I think I'll go down to the pharmacy and
pick up some tablets.

405
00:21:00,090 --> 00:21:03,280
Yes, well, I think I'll come with you
and make sure you get there.

406
00:21:11,830 --> 00:21:14,420
Well, are you going to ring that bell or
aren't you?

407
00:21:14,421 --> 00:21:17,449
Well, I'm not going to do it in front of
Archie. He'd laugh.

408
00:21:17,450 --> 00:21:18,669
No, he won't because he's not here.

409
00:21:18,670 --> 00:21:20,720
What do you mean he's not here? He's
gone.

410
00:21:21,830 --> 00:21:22,990
What happened to him?

411
00:21:23,340 --> 00:21:26,880
He, uh, dropped off early, so I took him
for a little ride.

412
00:21:27,380 --> 00:21:29,300
You can't do that. Oh, I've done it.

413
00:21:30,040 --> 00:21:33,530
Where did you leave him? Never mind
where I left him. You ring that bell.

414
00:21:34,240 --> 00:21:38,100
I think I'll wait just a bit longer.
You're not getting cold feet, are you?

415
00:21:38,120 --> 00:21:42,119
Well, get on with it. Remember the words
of Ethel P. Dodds, seize the moment

416
00:21:42,120 --> 00:21:43,500
only the lifetime of regret.

417
00:21:45,460 --> 00:21:48,140
I'm not laughing. Get on with it.
There's no one here.

418
00:21:48,560 --> 00:21:49,610
You're here.

419
00:21:50,600 --> 00:21:51,900
Well, I won't look.

420
00:21:52,810 --> 00:21:54,430
Did you think I was going to look?

421
00:21:54,630 --> 00:21:59,269
Well, that's nice, isn't it? I'm your
friend, genial Jim Merriweather. Oh,

422
00:21:59,270 --> 00:22:00,970
hurts, that does. I'm sorry, Steve.

423
00:22:01,250 --> 00:22:02,450
Ring that pleading bell.

424
00:22:03,721 --> 00:22:09,669
You've always said you wanted to do
something more with your life.

425
00:22:09,670 --> 00:22:12,920
Well, I really meant going abroad. This
beats going abroad, mate.

426
00:22:13,030 --> 00:22:14,080
What's that?

427
00:22:15,730 --> 00:22:17,840
Do you think I could have a glass of
water?

428
00:22:19,481 --> 00:22:21,449
Or and.

429
00:22:21,450 --> 00:22:23,680
trembled slightly as she hit it at the
glass.

430
00:22:23,790 --> 00:22:28,130
Once again, she felt the sheer animal
magnetism of this fine, handsome youth.

431
00:22:28,410 --> 00:22:30,210
What's the matter? Can't you sleep?

432
00:22:30,230 --> 00:22:33,110
No, I was just thirsty. I'll be all
right now.

433
00:22:34,370 --> 00:22:36,730
Well, good night, then.

434
00:22:38,710 --> 00:22:43,030
Nurse, do you think you could straighten
my pillows for me?

435
00:22:43,230 --> 00:22:44,410
Oh, yes, certainly.

436
00:22:45,630 --> 00:22:48,790
Nurse, I... What is it, Norman?

437
00:23:06,280 --> 00:23:07,330
Good night, then.

438
00:23:10,140 --> 00:23:11,900
She kissed me, Fig.

439
00:23:12,500 --> 00:23:14,360
She kissed me. Yeah.

440
00:23:14,760 --> 00:23:16,340
On the mouth. Yeah.

441
00:23:16,640 --> 00:23:18,000
With both lips.

442
00:23:18,220 --> 00:23:21,800
Yeah. It was great.

443
00:23:22,160 --> 00:23:23,920
I thought she'd slap my face.

444
00:23:24,180 --> 00:23:25,230
So did I.

445
00:23:25,920 --> 00:23:29,100
And I'll tell you something else. So did
Ethel P. Dodds.

446
00:23:29,600 --> 00:23:30,650
What do you mean?

447
00:23:30,880 --> 00:23:32,500
He did it in the book. I know.

448
00:23:32,740 --> 00:23:33,980
And she slapped his face.

449
00:23:35,500 --> 00:23:37,120
Didn't you tell me? Why should I?

450
00:23:37,340 --> 00:23:41,379
Ah, who's Ethel P. Dodds anyway?
Probably some poofter in a buckle belt

451
00:23:41,380 --> 00:23:42,430
sailor trousers.

452
00:23:42,540 --> 00:23:46,740
What have you done with Archie? Don't
you worry about Archie.

453
00:23:47,020 --> 00:23:50,640
I've got a feeling when he wakes up,
he's going to be a very happy man.

454
00:24:14,600 --> 00:24:16,540
Yes, I'm H -A -P -P -Y.

455
00:24:17,060 --> 00:24:18,880
I'm H -A -P -P -Y.

456
00:24:18,930 --> 00:24:23,480
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